Lydia Grace BaoXing Kemper

Lydia Grace BaoXing Kemper
Aug '07 10 months

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Friday, December 28, 2007

**Lydia meets her family**





We touched down after a drowsy flight from Chicago to KC, feeling as if we hadn't slept in weeks. After a quick change of clothes and attaching a bow to her head, Lydia was ready to meet her brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins---all at the same time!




Walking into the terminal felt like slow-motion. We could see everyone through the plexi-glass waving, the boys peeking up over the sides, with signs and balloons. I tried to point them out to Lydia, who is always busy looking at other things, but when I said "wave hi", she starting smiling and waving to the room, as if she knew that she were being greeted by all of these people.




My first reaction was to grab and hug any boy that I could get to first, but they all three managed to be in my arms within seconds, smooshing Lydia with a big bear hug for mama. Needless to say, tears were flowing and they were eager to touch Lydia and talk to her. Jack's comment, "She's cuter than I thought she would be." Sam just looked at her and smiled in wonder (and 'tasted' her hair---it's a weird sensory thing he does when he kisses your hair, he's really 'tasting' you!) He declared her taste to be satisfactory. Ben just smiled like a goon and kept patting her and waving a little two-year old wave (the kind with all five fingers spread out and rotating like an automatic waving hand on the back window of a VW van!)




Lydia reacted as if she were so glad to finally see people her size and immediately began charming them with smiles, grunts, and minor head-butts. Grandmas and Grandpas each took a hug (from us and her!) and when she went to someone, she would look at Jason or me to make sure things were okay and we weren't going anywhere.




What a day! We are praising the Lord for guiding us to this child, for His provision in getting us the funds we needed to get her (down to the last dollar), and in bringing us home safely and without trial. We are so unworthy of such a precious gift and opportunity as this, and are truly humbled that He chose us to be Lydia's parents. There is nothing we can do to repay what the Lord has done for us---only to glorify His name and give Him the credit. To God be the glory great things He hath done...!

The Long Flight Home

We began the day taking a bus to the airport, with boxed breakfasts in our laps. It was still dark, but the city was starting to wake up. Our coordintors were busy giving last minute details, like "don't open the immigration packet!" for the hundredth time.

As we neared the airport, day was starting to break and I could see the details of the city. I looked out the bus windows, taking in my last sights of China. A China that we loved and wanted to learn more about, but also a China that seemed distant and unable to be grasped by us---where we were still foreigners. Lydia sat in my lap, munching bites of muffin. Around us sleepy Mommies and Daddies looked weary and uncertain of what the next 20 hours had in store for them as they peeled eggs and bananas.

Again, just like when we flew out of Chongqing, I had such mixed feelings and wishing I had more time to sit and ponder them and sort through them. I was saddened that Lydia would never know her birth-parents and that her knowledge of China would be through us---people who can't begin to understand the culture, even if we try very hard for years. It was at that moment that I wished I could freeze in time and write down everything---the feelings, the sights, the things I don't know, the things I want to know, our hopes for Lydia, and our fears about trying to provide her glimpes of her roots.

This is how I felt as we left China and also wondering about the moment when she would step foot back in her birth country. I tried to imagine what it would be like for her 10+ years down the road---would she know the language, would she feel out of place or feel like she even belonged here? Those issues are up to us---very overwhelming to think of the responsibility for that---and she sat there happily nibbling egg and banana bread.

After checking in and beginning our seemingly unlimited trip through security (we were 'secured' five times that day!!) we found some much needed coffee and relaxed a bit with our new friends, the Heidi's and waited to go to Hong Kong. After thinking in RMB for two weeks we were looking forward to tossing out our dollars without having to think how much things were "really" costing us with the exchange rate. As the last "hoorah" with the RMB and money conversions, Jason came back with our coffee. As he sipped, he realized that he paid $10 per cup!!! Needless to say, we drank every drop, and unfortunatley it was not Starbucks!

Flying into Hong Kong was so beautiful and we wished that we could stay there longer than 2 hours in the airport! Hopefully our next trip will include some touring of that great place.

Unlike the flight over to China, coming home we were able to sleep, sleep, sleep! Maybe because we were totally exhausted or maybe because we barely slept the night before. But, we had very little trouble napping on and off.

Despite our fears of being on the plane with the baby, Lydia did an amazing job! Thankfully we had a seat in between us and we could sprawl out a little more. I pulled out some of the toys that we hadn't tried out in the hotel---crayons and paper and stickers! Lydia had a mini-lesson on play and language bombardment. It was fun and she is very bright---the first attempt was banging the crayon, but after I showed her once how to scribble, her next attempt was swiping it across the paper. Then we learned how to 'pat pat' our stickers onto the paper.

As we entered US air space, joy swept my heart as I felt that much closer to my home and our boys. As we touched down and Lydia's American citizenship became official, she slept peacefully in my lap, my arms were numbing, and Jason was snoring two seats away. Rather anti-climactic; but also a special time, as I sat---a Mommy overwhelmed by a remarkable trip around the world, overwhelmed by differences and change, and also overcome with the 'joy' that was reclining in my arms.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Packing Up!



We spent today "wrapping it up" here. We went to the American Consulate for the oath ceremony. 56 families were there to take the oath and will leave China tomorrow. It is amazing there are nearly that many families there every day to take the oath and adopt children from here---the numbers are staggering, especially because we have nothing in our own country similar to the situation here to compare it to.




After a forty minute bus ride back to the hotel, we went to the Thai restaurant (again!) and then spent the rest of the evening packing our things and making sure we had everything we need for the plane ride. Jason is nervous about what we will do with Lydia for so long on the flight, but I can't think about it until I'm in the moment!




We bought an extra suitcase for our 'finds' and Jason came close to purchasing a Mao knapsack for fun--what would we do with a Mao bag?! Funny as the girl really tried to push it on us for $3 or $4 and when we said we really didn't want it she thought we were trying to bargain and had it down to $2---nice army green with a distinctive red Mao image!




To bed early, as we have a wakeup call at 4:30 am---hope we can sleep! The boys are driving back to MO from IN as I write; hope all is well there and they make it home with no problems.




A challenging day of travel lies ahead. Emotions full of excitement as Lydia will meet her new family for the first time, nervousness as to what lies ahead for her health, sadness as she will leave her homeland, but also extreme pride that we have a daughter from China, and hope for her future as an American citizen!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Our Chinese Beauty





Here are pics of our beautiful girl in her native dress. We took several shots in the hotel and then went out to a park where she felt grass for the first time!

Pic---I always liked fushia and she looks great in it!

It is tradition for the babies to have their pictures taken on the hotel's red couch. Here is Lydia with some of her friends who are being adopted and will become American citizens soon! Lydia was one of the older babies in the group and kept trying to touch her friends. The other little one wasn't so eager to be touched!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Day--pearls and tea!


Merry Christmas!


We spent all last evening in our hotel room watching the stream of people file into and out of the hotel, apparently to come in and have a photo opp. in the hotel lobby. We saw women smoothing boys' and girls' hair, straightening their clothes, and standing them up tall in front of the Christmas trees or waterfall in the hotel. The kids would then make a nasty face and glare at the camera. It was funny to watch, but soon we realized that the hotel was getting more and more packed. We could hardly walk in the lobby and thus retreated up to our room, where I watched the "ant line" streaming into the hotel. Out in the street, we heard noise makers, blow horns, and watched as vendors sold light flashers and strange headbands to all the people in the streets. It appeared as if it were New Year's Eve or Mardi Gras down there instead of people celebrating the birth of Christ. To add to that, the headbands adorning people's heads were red spikey horns, devil-like---definately not what we would expect to see on Christmas Eve!


We read the Christmas story from Luke and then went to sleep---I heard the people in the streets until after midnight. That surprised me as people still went to work and school the next day.


Here are a few pics of Lydia on Christmas Day in the hotel. We skipped the pretty Christmas dress that we brought as we were out most of the day in search of tea and pearls! I did not imagine that I would spend Christmas Day shopping, but we were scheduled to go shopping for pearls at a wholesale market---with nothing else to do, no cooking, no cleaning, no wrapping paper scraps to clean up, why not?


The jewelry market was in a huge mall area, with one whole floor for stones, jewels, and precious gems. I didn't see any other shoppers besides us and other Americans here. Not sure whether Chinese natives shop here or if this is a tourist venue. In each store, workers were packing stones, beads, etc into bags probably to ship to other places. We were with another coulple we met that are from Chicago, the Heidi's and their baby Ava. They were on a serious search for some pearls, we were just along for the ride. Once again, so many people in the streets and shopping plaza that we could barely walk. This time Jason enjoyed bargaining with some gals over a pearl and jade necklace. He enjoyed the banter mixed with jokes; they didn't 'get it' and mostly jabbered back and forth, probably saying things like "Is this guy for real? Does he think we'll sell it for that cheap--what a joke!" or maybe "What is he saying? Is he crazy?" I just laughed and watched. If I would have seriously wanted the necklace, I might have tried to intervene before he annoyed them. But, I didn't really want it and let him have some fun in a land that doesn't understand him.


We chose to forego a crazy cab ride, and walked about 1 mile back to the hotel. We walked right through the local food market full of fresh produce and barrels of dried goods---nuts, mushrooms, everything you could think of and then some.


In the market area, we happened upon a tea shop, which was exciting for Jason. Here we found glass canisters with various teas filling the shelves with little teapots and cups for sale out front. The guy was eager to share with Jason his tea-making skill and we shared little tiny cups of jasmine tea together in the back of the cramped little store. Elsie (our new guide) helped Jason choose some tea and soon we were the proud owners of authentic Chinese tea and a little tea set. Not the intricately painted porceline kind that we saw in the tourist shops, but the small carved terra cotta kind that we realized most of the Chinese people used. We got a tea pot, a little pitcher, strainer, 10 tiny cups, and a couple of kilos of teas for under 10 bucks! That was the excitement of our Christmas Day---all of the tea in China!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Eve in China

Well, it is Christmas Eve. We are in China. It is more wonderful than we can describe to have Lydia---we are learning so much about her. But, we are not home and it just seems like any other day here. It feels like the first Christmas we were married when we moved to San Diego. Sunny, balmy weather, green, no family, just us. That's how it is here in this region of China, warm and green.

Tonight, we went with our travel group to a Thai restaurant--some of the most decent food we've had, especially in GZ where they will eat practically anything that crawls or walks and the ENTIRE creature! "Very suspicious," as Chloe (a Beijinger) would say! She also is wary of the food offerings in the central and southern parts of China. It is unamimous that the Thai restaurant will be our new dinner spot for the rest of the trip.

Weird to say, but we are spending tonight in Starbucks, posting blog and sharing cheesecake and cafe mocha. Very strange to see that in writing--kind of depressing actually; when we are used to going to church on Christmas Eve, coming home to share a meal with family, and open gifts with the boys. But, this Starbucks is quite chic with Euro architecture and has a comfy fake 'fire'. I can almost imagine that I am somewhere near home and only a drive away from our family. We took Lydia's picture as if we were sitting in front of our own fireplace at home---but there are three things missing---Sam Jack and Ben....

I'll post some pics after we download back in the room. Until then, Merry Christmas everyone! We miss you terribly and wish we were celebrating the birth of our Savior with people that understand why we celebrate it. Love to all...only 4 more days!

Medical Exam on Christmas Eve

Despite the holiday, business resumes around here and we certainly have businesss to take care of! Today, half of our group filed across the island to the medical center where the babies were examined before they can be admitted into the United States.



It was packed with people, but we got in and out pretty quickly. Lydia did quite well and was very patient. It is very common for the people in GZ to see Americans with Chinese babies; however, we still got many looks of wonder. We were set aside because of Lydia's medical condition and thus different doctors were looking at her. First the ENT, and then into the Ped Dr., who commented again on her beauty and that beautiful women come of Chongqing--she also said "oh, spicy!" regarding the women there. Interesting that people here have judgements and thoughts on people from other regions, just like we have stereotypes of Americans that live in certain regions of the US--more on that later, from what Chloe told me.



The doc listened to Lydia's heart for several minutes and then sent us into another room for a second opinion. There another doc listened for quite awhile and then gave a 'thumbs up' sign. "What?" I said, "Do you hear anything?" "No, no murmur" he said. As we put Lydia's clothes back on her I was overjoyed to hear that her heart sounded normal. God has healed her heart and most of all I was again humbled and in awe that God would draw us to her and despite the fears of medical conditions, we knew that she was the daughter that God designed for us. There is no mistaking that it is God that places people in families. His plan may not seem to make sense to us (as in a baby becoming an orphan), but He does things for reasons that we can't see or understand and all for HIS glory, not the glory of man. Thus again, we are humbled that He would choose us to be the parents to this sweet child and thankful that we were guided to her.

She is scheduled to see our Cardiologist when we return home, hopefully we will leave there with him saying "...and why did you come in today? There's nothing there; everything's okay."

Sunday, December 23, 2007

We miss our boys!!

We really miss the boys and now that we have Lydia are ready to escape to get back home! We have what we came for and if it were up to us, would have left last week. Alas, we have more paperwork to do to complete her immigration and citizenship to America. We will take care of that on the 24th—Christmas Eve. We are not really looking forward to spending Christmas here. The meaning of the season here is very much not Christian, just another holiday and something to celebrate---more like a party atmosphere. There are only decorated trees, Santas, and lights; no nativities or anything about Jesus Christ. Sounds a bit like how Christmas is getting in America, huh? There is a protestant church on the island and we will find out if there is a Christmas service there, or we'll spend a quiet day together.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

More about Lydia

Pic---a serious girl in her zebra pants! Everyone needs zebra pants! Well ok I don't, but she looks cute!

I forgot to write before about how well Lydia eats and sleeps and how well she is bonding. We are thanking the Lord that He has prepared her little heart for us. She is learning to trust us and is constantly watching us to make sure things are okay. Jason took her down to the playroom in the hotel this afternoon and she showed some stress. I was a large room (very much like the playroom in the orphanage) and with other children/babies playing all around. He sensed that she was nervous about it and started to cry when he walked over to take his shoes off because she thought he was leaving. I can imagine that she wondered if she were being dropped off back in some kind of orphanage-type place and that he was leaving her there. Makes me cry. They didn’t stay long.

She LOVES to sleep and eat!!! She eats nearly everything that we offer and is eating more table food than they said. In the orphanage, she was taking a bottle every 3 hours around the clock---8 bottles a day for a 14 month old. Since we got her, she has slept through the night and has not had the midnight and 3:00 am bottles that they reported. And during the day, she is filling up on more solid food and less formula. She will eat any flavor of babyfood—ones that our boys would never touch, like the meats (even liver and salmon paste!) and will even eat prunes like it’s a super-treat! At breakfast she munches on watermelon, bananas, eggs, and congee (like a soupy rice paste—kind of like grits). She eats SO politely with her fork and chopsticks---not using them herself, but with someone feeding her! We have noticed that she is not accustomed to self-feeding. If we put things on her tray, she tries to pick them up, but then doesn’t know that she can put them in her mouth. She expects us to feed her the Cheerios! Her fine motor/pincer grasp is somewhat weak and the food gets lost in her fist J

The girl naps like crazy during the day and then at night sleeps solid for about 12 hours without waking. She is not in a baby bed—we’ve opted for the co-sleeping for now to promote bonding and to let her know that we are here. We are SO thankful that she sleeps so well and falls to sleep easily. One family is in tears that they have to hold their baby constantly throughout the night or the baby screams. Exhausting. Maybe because Lydia is older and already has solid sleeping habits---and I think she is just a sleeper like Jack, sleeps soundly and for a long time! Yea!
Pic---in front of our Hilton, decorated for Christmas

Internet access in GZ

Good thing we saved so much money on food in Chongqing, because when we checked out of the Hilton we found that they really ‘sock it to ya’ for the Internet service. We owed about $70 for the week---disappointing as most hotels offer it for free. So in GZ, they immediately told us where we can go for free Internet---the Starbucks down the street! For the price of a cafĂ© mocha, I can sign on and communicate with the world!

I won't be able to post as much, but we don't want to spend anymore on Internet when we can get it for free!

The food---can't say enough in writing!

A brief description of some of our food experiences; however, this doesn't scratch the surface on what we've experienced in the food arena. Jason would like to do a 'guest editorial' on the subject---maybe I'll let him, but afraid of what he'll say!

We managed to eat in CQ for $10 a day for 3 adults and the baby!! We ate our hotel breakfast, then just yogurt in our fridge for lunch, and had a bigger dinner with Chloe. Thanks to Chloe we had wonderful food and nothing too strange. We avoided the traditional ‘hot pot’ as it has some suspicious ingredients. Chloe always ordered our food for us, and we were very grateful that she even went to dinner with us. Typically the coordinators do their own thing in the evening and the families are on their own for dinner. But, I think she liked the company and to practice her English and we paid for her dinner! Cheap, I might add!!! We ordered one main dish, a vegetable, and fried rice almost every night, just with different ingredients or different spices. We left feeling full, but not the type of full that you do on American cooking. The Chinese eat a lot of vegetables and when eating with chopsticks you aren’t shoveling it in with a fork like in American. So, I think you tend to eat less and healthier. Even though we’ve been eating well, I think we’ve both lost weight!

Tonight in Guangzhou though, we are ready for some American food after eating totally Chinese for a week!!! I think I need a burger, fries, and a Coke.

We found a little restaurant that serves American food and ordered the burgers---looked SO good! But, the meat had a ‘special flavor’ as Chloe would say and after a few bites I couldn’t eat it. I just stuck to my fries and Coke! We decided it must be because they feed their cows differently than we do and thus the taste is different---oh, to be home!!!! We learned that when Chloe described something as having a ‘special flavor’ it usually didn’t mean ‘special—good’, but ‘special—yuck’ I’m going to start using that to describe things I don’t like—I think its funny! I think she used that as a term to indicate “I don’t like it, but maybe someone else might. Or, it’s different, unusual”

Tourist shopping in China--I'm a sucker!

We are SO ready to go home. There is a lot of shopping opportunities here and since we haven’t purchased anything yet, I guess we’ll be doing some shopping---some chopsticks, some Chinese outfits for her, and probably some special jewelry to give Lydia in the future. Jason is not excited about the shopping, neither am I really after our first trip out! It is like shopping in Mexico, where you are trying to hold out and get the best discount---I can’t stand that!! I’d almost rather be a ‘sucker’ and pay the price and just get out. But, then you feel ripped off because you know the next guy will get the better deal---that feeling is there no matter how good of a deal you get! You are always feeling you probably paid too much! After my first trip out, I felt like a failure. A seasoned China traveler (older man) said, “You should’ve asked for 40% off.” What?! I thought I was doing good to get 20% off! Anyway, now wiser, I’ll go out again. I really don’t like it, but I can’t leave China empty-handed. Wish Chloe was here! In CQ, she would say to vendors “oh come on, give them a break! They’re an adoptive family, coming all the way from America!” It seemed to work—we got good prices on our food and special taxi treatment. The poor guy was trying to go off his shift, but she had flagged him down and convinced him that he really should give us a ride, with the baby and being American. Weird, but he did it! I thought, “In New York, a taxi driver would say ‘so what’ and too bad!” This guy felt sorry for us and expressed his disgust on how people in China just ‘throw away’ their babies.

We are in Guangzhou--one step closer to home!

It was sad to say goodbye to Chloe today! She really has become our friend. Not only was she our life-line in CQ, she was someone to laugh with and learn from. We felt really lonely as we walked through the GZ airport without her, as if we were being sent out on our own. But that really is not the case. Another CHI coordinator greeted us at the airport in Guangzhou and we will meet up with our travel group. Also, more people speak English where we are in GZ, as it is ‘the spot’ for adoptive families.

We really enjoyed our stay at the Hilton and didn’t really want to relocate. Even Lydia seemed to understand that we were making a change. Once we got to GZ, it was as if she could sense she wasn’t in her native province anymore. That seems strange to say for a baby; but as she is 14 months and understands quite well, it was clear that she noticed the differences. They speak Cantonese here, not Mandarin, and her CQ/Fuling dialect disappeared. Also, she hears much more English here in the hotel and sees lots of adoptive babies. In the hotel dining room and out walking around, she checks our faces to make sure everything is okay and watches people carefully (like the Americans and the other babies). She didn’t like the change in the hotel room either. She crawled around crying and did not want to explore as much. She knows that our ‘happy place’, the Hilton, is gone. By the end of the week, she’ll be used to ‘The White Swan’ and then we go home!!

The ‘White Swan’ is a very well-known hotel. The lobbies are beautiful, with waterfalls and koi swimming in huge ponds, and lots of Chinese decoration and art. This place is very prestigious I guess, but the rooms are SMALL! Made for Asians, we joked. And the beds are super hard—we wondered if they forgot the mattress and we are sleeping on the boxsprings! It takes a bit to get used to functioning in another room—making baby bottles, organizing our stuff, etc. I can’t wait to be home in my own kitchen and with my appliances! The next time I complain about how outdated my kitchen is or my laundry room too small, I will bite my tongue and think again!

Flying out of Chongqing to Guangzhou

We flew out of CQ this afternoon. Lydia did great on the flight. It was somewhat sad to see her leaving her hometown, but then I think of the alternative. We are taking her from her home city, but we are not taking her from a family---we are her family, as she had none. It is such a sobering thought that it reminds me over and over of why we chose adoption. Not only to give us a daughter, but to give her a family and a hope for a better future. I tear up when I think that someone left this beautiful girl sitting in a box out on the street. It is unimaginable, yet it really happened. I still cry when I think of how God guided us to her---some people think that they will get just any baby. We are convinced that it is God who chooses children into families—no mistakes about it, and He is the reason we have this specific child. We can’t be thankful enough for the beautiful children we have and the life that we have in the US—it is overwhelming to think about as we are so undeserving of such goodness.
Pic--Lydia's first plane ride. She looks drowsy!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Public Restrooms or Stinking Tofu??




Well, we had our first experience today with a public restroom and all I can say is—disgusting! We could smell it from down the street and as we made our way into the alleyway I thought I was going to get sick from the smell. I think I have a pretty strong stomach, but this was totally nothing like I’ve ever encountered before! What made the sensory experience even worse was seeing people sitting around there eating and also seeing ‘storm drains’ along the roadway that looked as if raw sewage was emerging from underneath the street! Jason was the only one to enter. Chloe and I stayed outside and I am glad. There was no way I would take the baby in there and I wouldn’t even go in there to take a picture if someone gave me money! I can’t hold my breath that long! And Chloe (a Beijinger) won’t touch a lot of things that these locals do—public restrooms, chicken feet, ox throat, and intestines to name a few! Big yuck!

Thankfully we made it out of the stench range, only to find it later on near the food vendors! Chloe explained “That is called smelly tofu.” “You eat that?!” we exclaimed. “That HAS to be another restroom!” “No, I’m sure it’s the tofu,” she says, “It smells ugly, but tastes beautiful.” HA!!! We found the vendor with the stench, where people were lined up to get some ‘stinking tofu.’ One local says to us “oh, you have to eat some of this” Chloe translates. We say “tell him, that CAN’T be food!” and we walk away laughing that it smells just like the restrooms, with the man staring after us open mouthed---as if he couldn't comprehend why we thought it was gross!
After that yucko experience, we made our way into some shops. We mainly were looking for art from Lydia's province as we are waiting for most shopping in Guangzhou. We found some great things and super cheap to us---hand embroidery on silk, small watercolor paintings of CQ villages, and an artist who painted Lydia's Chinese name on rice paper and framed it. It sounds as if those things would be pricey, but each item cost just a little more than a dollar!! This pic shows the artist painting her name in Chinese characters.

About Lydia

I have been so focused on describing what we are doing day to day, that I haven't had a chance to talk about HER!


From the moment they placed her into our arms, we have found Lydia to be an absolutely charming baby! She is playful, smiles easily, laughs alot, and enjoys typical baby games like peek a boo, banging things, and dropping things to watch us fetch them. She is not very demanding, but we are trying to encourage her to let us know when she needs something by vocalizing or crying...to teach her that she can let us know and we'll fix it :-) She likes to play imitative sound games and watches our mouths when we talk. She is starting to say 'ma' and 'ba' and understands 'daddy' now, because she'll look over at Jason.


Developmentally we have read to expect a one month delay for every 3 months in the orphanage. That puts her at about 10 months developementally. I think this is very accurate. Now, she crawls pretty fast and pulls herself up into standing. She is still a little unsteady in a sitting position because of less trunk strength and sometimes she will tip over. However, when we first arrived back in our hotel from the orphanage and sat her down on the floor, she seemed to have alot of trouble sitting up at all and just laid there on her tummy. I said "oh no! she can't even crawl!" but within a couple of hours she was crawling around and showing us what she could do.


She does alot of rocking and swaying---not in a strange way though. I think because she was mostly sitting in a walker or on a rocking toy and thus did alot of upper body movement to entertain herself.


We have found the little places on her inner thighs/bottom area to be more like scar tissue. Personally, I think it is from the straps they use to to tie them down in their beds and that rubbed on her until scarring formed. That sounds so savage and I can't stand thinking about it; but, really those people have not much choice in keeping so many babies safe in their beds. The beds railings were such that an older baby could easily tumble out or climb out. And, it seems as if she were in her bed quite a bit--two naps a day and a long 12-hour night time sleep. That's being strapped down more than half the day!


As a result, Lydia's head is very flat on the back--I think from laying constantly in a back position and not able to move around in her sleep. Last night I woke up and found her laying on her tummy, with arms all sprawled out and thought "wow, probably the first time she has gotten to sleep on her tummy! I bet it feels like such freedom!" We have also read that some women encourage the babies to sleep flat on their backs and prop them so they can't move their heads to promote a flat head. They feel that is beauty and makes prettier ponytails! Not sure if that is true, but could make sense culturally. Anyway, her flat head will hardly show as she has tons of thick hair!
This picture is of Lydia's little bed in the orphanage and also a pic of her room back home. These pics provide a small glimpse of the dramatic difference between Lydia's past life and her future---actually the dramatic difference made in the lives of all children who are adopted from orphanages. A change that she won't fully understand until much later in life.

Exploring Chongqing



Chloe picked up Lydia's paperwork from the registrar and then went to have them notarized. We have all of the paperwork back and tomorrow she will go to pick up Lydia's passport. Everything is in its place and we haven't had any 'issues' whatsoever--thank the Lord! We fly out of Chongqing on Saturday and Lydia will say goodbye to her birthplace.




We went and found our laundry again this morning---all pieces were there and the people were very nice. We said "Have a nice day!" when we left and they just looked at us shocked. Chloe translated that they said "wow, the foreigners are very friendly." I guess most of their patrons are all business and not much politeness, especially if you are in a service oriented business like laundry.




We saw more groups of people doing their morning exercises--they are out there every morning. The moves they do take a lot of balance and the women are very graceful. We got some pics of children walking around with their grandparents. We had several conversations and eventually drew a crowd of people wondering about Lydia. They ask many questions and wonder how we could possibly want to come here for a child, especially since we have biological children. We try to explain the best we can, but its difficult. They all want to touch Lydia and say she has such big eyes and 'lucky baby' to get to live in America. We feel that we are the 'lucky' ones...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

More zoo pics

Here are some pics at the zoo. In the first one, we are standing in front of huge bamboo shoots and the others of Lydia trying to walk. She is so happy to be able to cruise around (with help!) In the orphanage, her exploration was so limited and now she can go where ever she wants! I think she will be walking soon!



We go back out!

We had a quiet morning in the hotel. Jason spent time in the gym—it is NICE! Lots of equipment, a lap pool, and spa rooms separated for men and women. Maybe I’ll try a massage tomorrow—they are fairly cheap!

I’ve noticed that Lydia is showing more grief today—or fear—not sure which it is. She wakes from a little nap crying, but not just crying, more like fearful screaming—like she’s scared or having a bad dream. This is the process she must go through I guess. It is sad to watch, but necessary, as she separates herself from the life she has known and becomes accustomed to us—a new life and new people. At night, she sleeps soundly for quite awhile and then rouses; but, if I just put my hand on hers and hold onto her fingers she falls back to sleep. She has crawled around my feet all morning, like when I’m sitting at the computer and she cries with big “crocodile tears” if I walk towards the other room. When Jason went to the gym, she cried. So we went down to visit him and explored the pool area. She seems alright after she sees him and is okay to move on.

The guy in the gym was very interested in talking to Jason. It seems as if people like to practice their English here. He was amazed that we have several children and would come across the world to find another. With the younger and mid-generation, the ‘one child’ policy here is all that people know and can’t comprehend having more than one. Their life revolves around just that one—they pour themselves into that one little person because that’s the only chance they have. The thought of the energy and expense it would take to have more than one child is incomprehensible. I have gathered this by conversations that we had with people today.

We went to the CQ zoo this afternoon. I was a bit hesitant to get Jason out in the masses again, and we aren’t really ‘zoo people.’ I thought he would complain the whole time. But, I was glad that he was refreshed and was ready to “be seen” again! I think he realized that people aren’t really staring out of rudeness, but just in wonder and amazement—and I convinced him that we should show our pride in having Lydia and not try to hide because we don’t want to be a spectacle---I said, “Get used to it! This is the way it will be now.” That seemed to sink in.

Surprisingly, we really enjoyed the zoo! It was lush with winding sidewalks and stairways and the animals were very close---we could almost touch the elephant and giraffe. Lydia just stared at the giant pandas. The other animals she slept through. Chloe is funny to be around, so we enjoyed lots of “funnys” as she likes to try to understand and practice American/English humor and figures of speech. At the zoo, many more people stopped to talk to us. It is much better if they talk and ask questions rather than just stare as if we had two heads! Young people like to practice “hello” and try to get their children to say “hello” and “good-bye” in English.

Many people cannot understand how we can walk around with no coat on and they think Lydia is freezing! One young mom said “Only one pair of pants?!” and shook her head disapprovingly---I thought I was doing well by putting on three upper layers and leggings with her socks and shoes. After several instances of the “clothing police” we went off in search of a puffy suit to bundle her in so that people don’t think we are abusing her. Our driver took us to Wal-Mart---that is almost another post in itself! Quite an experience, but we found her a cute “snow suit” as I called it and we’ll put it on her to keep the locals happy! Even if it’s 60 degrees!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

See, and be seen!





“See, and be seen!” that’s what Chloe suggested we do this afternoon. Well, that is exactly what we did---"seeing" was nice, "being seen" became unnerving after awhile.




Our driver first took us down to the riverfront where the two rivers meet in CQ. We are met with many stares, comments, and people following us. And I don't mean polite stares, where people glance away after meeting your eye. I mean LONG stares, with people poking the person next to them so that they can get a look too! A group of high school boys saw Jason and immediately began to crowd around him saying a drawn out "hellooo!" and looking at him as if he were some celebrity. It makes it worse that Jason towers over these people by about a foot and with blond hair/blue eyes. I blend in a little more until they see my face. Lydia was bundled up in the sling and blanket and at first people couldn't see her. BUT, once they peeked into the blanket and saw Chinese eyes, they REALLY had something to stare at and point to! We can't understand what they are saying of course, but Chloe sometimes tells us. One man said "Oh that must be their friend's baby (Chloe's) and they are just holding it" Another said, "hmm strange, that baby looks like Chinese" and to that Chloe replied "She IS Chinese!"




After that we went to a shopping avenue (pedestrian), that was filled with the most high fashion people in CQ--with stores to match! The glass front buildings were multi-level department store, with lots of fashion ads and high-tech video screens on the outside. Reminded me of what Times Square must look like in NYC. The young women here are beautiful and dressed to fit the part. We enjoyed it until Jason became a little freaked out by all the stares---so many people that you can hardly walk freely and the prolonged stares and people touching the baby. By the time we reached a restaurant he had totally had enough of being the American to gawk at. I mangaged to keep him from being totally rude, but we were glad to be back in the sanctuary of the hotel. I don't mind the stares---I just think we are unsure of what the Chinese think of us having their baby. Jason claims he's not going out again---I guess "being seen" was too much. But, tomorrow we are scheduled to take Lydia to the zoo--after some good food, a nice workout and sauna, and a good night's sleep he'll go...




Off to find a laundry service

In the morning, Chloe and I went for a long walk through the streets of Chongqing while Jason and Lydia napped. The baby is becoming quite attached to him. She likes for him to put her to sleep and if he walks away in a restaurant she starts to cry. She lets me hold her in the sling when we are out and she seems comfy and she will snuggle with me while I give her a bottle, but then at times she wants Jason to hold her and reaches out to him. We are glad that she is beginning to reach out to us; because at first she just sat there when we would hold our arms out to her---she didn’t seem to know what it meant for a baby to reach up her arms to indicate that she wants to be picked up. I imagine because in the orphanage babies are picked up according to the adults timing, not the baby’s desires. But, now she’s starting to understand and will lean towards us when she wants to be held. She still makes sure we are both around and wants us all three to be near, putting her hands on both of us at the same time.

Lydia has quite a cough that is getting worse, with alot of drainage. Last night in the restaurant she was coughing so hard that she threw-up all over her little coat and Jason's jeans---thus the need for the laundry! We are praying that her cough isn't anything serious--she's kind of wheezing and with a clogged nose.





Chloe and I first dropped off the laundry at a private shop--our most worn clothes sitting in some shop. If I had to find it again alone, I would rather just buy new clothes! The laundry place was on a winding side street that looked like a 'hole-in-the-wall'--no offense to the shop owner! Just that it didn't really appear to be a business on the surface, just a doorway on the street. Chloe and I will go find the clothes later. Again, that girl is amazing! She has never been to CQ before either, but can make her way around no problem--she's a city girl for sure.





After saying good-bye to our clothes we then wandered around. We saw retired folks in open courtyards doing tai chi and an adult “playground” where they were exercising themselves on equipment and playing ping pong. The Chinese older generation is very active, and they combine their exercise as a social time. We saw a group of ladies practicing a drum routine which they probably perform at some events and festivals, Chloe said.



And then we walked around to a huge bridge overlooking the Jai Lin (sp?) River. It seemed like we walked forever---but, Chloe is very easy to talk to and is becoming a good friend. Being with her reminds me of my times wandering around Austria with Susi---her filling me in on culture and what life is like here. I have realized that so much on the surface seems different with the people here, but inside we are all the same. She described to me her family dynamics and relationship with her husband--sounded very familiar to issues that we all deal with, no matter where you live the issues of life are universal.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Proud Momma and Daddy




A few pics of us after she is officially ours...

Lydia "signs" her name


We all stamped our thumb prints over our signatures, like an "official seal" Here Lydia stamps and "signs"

She is officially a Kemper!


Today, we went to file Lydia's paperwork here in Chongqing and to make the adoption official! It was a nice feeling to see the three of us on a little photo that they take and put in her file---it stays here in China and we also have a certificate to keep. Wish I could upload the photo, it is so cute! Here are some pics of the official event and the proud Mommy and Daddy. Everyone comments on her beautiful eyes--even men! And the ladies like to see her "American clothes" as they call them.


There was another baby being brought to her family at the adoption bureau--again, I was so thankful that we got to visit the orphanage and see it first-hand. The "head nanny" was at the bureau to bring the other baby and they were sweet to Lydia. She was very cautious-looking when she saw them. She kept looking back and forth at Jason and I to make sure we were both there and she did not really want to interact with the lady from the orphanage except for a smile from Daddy's arms. The lady tried to hold her, but Jason held tight and pretended that he didn't know--I'm glad because we didn't want her to feel that she's going back to them.


We are impressed with the driving here---in a strange way! They drive so crazy and bumper to bumper, but they never hit one another and always manage to get through the tiniest of spots--and LOTS of horns, but no road rage! We told them in America, honking creates negative feelings like "What did I do? Get off my back!" Here it is more like honking is supposed to be--a warning "hey, here I come!" Anyway, we have witnessed no accidents and no dented vehicles--amazingly!


We are having a hard time getting good photos of Lydia because she is constantly exploring! Every time we snap the pic, she is looking off at something else or crawling away! She is enjoying the new found freedom.


Her nap this afternoon showed a little anxiety. She has been reluctant to go to sleep for both naps today. I think because she is afraid we might go away while she is asleep or she might miss something. If I'm holding/cuddling her, she constantly looks around for Jason and vice versa. Chloe said, yes. maybe she is thinking "this nice life might go away."


This 'nice life' is not going away sweet girl, relax and sleep....

Our first night together



I am SO far behind on the journaling! I just can't keep up--we are so busy going here and there during the day and then exhausted at night!





We had a good first night last night. Her schedule said she usually has two bottles in the middle of the night! But, I think that they do that to keep the babies quiet and from waking the other babies---thus, the CHUBBY cheeks!! She slept through until 5:00 am with no need for a bottle! But, I did notice that when I rubbed her cheeks while she slept she rooted around for a bottle-she's used to having something plopped in while she's sleeping!



It was great to watch her wake up this morning! It was still dark and her eyes gradually came open, then got really wide, then she raised up and look around, like "where am I? and oh yeah," and "wow I can't believe this" then she looked at me and then over to Jason to make sure he was still there too. Her realization that she was still here with us was wonderful to watch!!

She seems to feel very comfortable with us and I would say likes all of the one-one attention! When we are all three sitting together, she puts one hand on my hands and then reaches over and puts her other hand on Jason. It's as if she knows that we are both there for her and she wants both of us to stay--an overwhelming feeling for us...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

We have Lydia Grace BaoXing


We have Lydia in our arms and she is more beautiful and precious than we ever could have imagined! Our visit to the orphanage was both overwhelming and wonderful at the same time. Everything happened so quickly, yet also slow-motion--if that is possible. It is one of those moments that you want to savor forever, but moves along quickly and before you know it, it's over and you just have pics to look at.


We wound through the tight streets of Fuling until they announced "we're here." I thought, "what? we're here?" Because right next to the road, and I mean right next to the curb, was the gate into a courtyard, with tall buildings all around. This was the orphanage. I had pictured it setting off of the road, like most buildings do and not so tall. It is very gray in Fuling and all of the buildings have a smoggy gray look to them. We were shown right over to a room that looks somewhat like a conference room---but FREEZING! Doors and windows were open and no heat on. The next thing I knew, I turned around and saw them bringing our sweet Bao Xing through the door, bundled in typical Chinese-style winter baby dress--5 layers of clothes! She looked so poufy and her cheeks SO red and chubby! I could understand the layers, because I was starting to shiver in that open room. But, the red cheeks! The lead nanny explained that they had her in the heated playing room, that's why her cheeks were so red---I guess they don't remove any layers in there!


I immediately started scanning her eyes and face to see if she were the baby we fell in love with from the pics---and pretty soon I could tell it was her behind that thick hair and chubbo cheeks! Those eyes I could pick out from a sea of babies and those were my baby's eyes that I was looking into. When they gave her to me, she just looked right through me and past me as if I were just some other being that she was given to---that was sad, but to be expected. She looked all around the room and barely into our faces for quite awhile. We examined her, hugged her and kissed her all over and she just hung out in her snow suit as if this was nothing special. After she really started to check us out, we got a few smiles and she started to play with the toys we brought. I was happy to start to see her personality coming through.


to be continued......seeing the orphanage

Our drive to Fuling Social Welfare Institute



We got up very early so that we could shower and get our things ready (and so Jason could eat his full share of the breakfast buffet!). We left the hotel at 8 am, with our friendly driver guy and a camera man following us. Our agency hires a camera guy to film the entire event and then we get a DVD later. We did not know about this, so when Chloe introduced him and told us to say a little something in the camera, I was taken off guard and blabbered something into the camera---Jason declined making an emotional scene in the hotel lobby into a huge black lens. It was quite funny now that I think about it---all of the Chinese people were looking at us probably wondering why in the world we were being filmed. Wonder if they thought we were movie stars--ha! If they watched long enough, they would quickly see that we were just regular "joes" weeping into a camera, AND American!

Fuling is located 2 hours outside of Chongqing on roads winding through the small mountains. They put me in the front of the van to avoid any carsickness! Again embarrassment, as Chloe explains to the camera guy why he can't sit in the front! He took lots of film of the countryside and our talking with Chloe about the area and China things in general--from the backseat!
Words really cannot explain the homes we saw dotting the hillsides, with their terraced gardens and laundry hanging from the eves of their stone homes built into the hills. Gardens planted not for hobby, but for their food and existence (as they probably sold it nearby). No windows or heating, just a skeleton of a house, looking mostly dilapidated and deserted; but, for sure inhabited by someone.

As we drove into the winding streets of Fuling, I looked into the faces of many people we passed, looking for some kind of understanding into their world and wondering what life was like for them. These were people just like Lydia's birthmom and birthdad---some people really poor just trying to make it in life, some people trying to look like they had made it in life, some people with looks of hardship on their faces, and some people with the look of perseverance and endurance. We noticed that there are many people on the streets at all times, no matter the day. It was a Sunday, so many people were out shopping and enjoying the afternoon. Chloe described this as "just a small city." I pictured just a little village type city. When we asked how many people, she answered "oh very small city, just 1 million people" What? Small?!?

We saw many young women. As we passed each one, I wondered if she could be Lydia's birthmom. Many of the women are very pretty in Chongqing/Fuling--nice smooth skin and defined facial features. Several people, including our guide Chloe, have told us that this province is well-known throughout China for its beautiful women--that their skin is so clear because of the weather here and you see much 'fashion' here as compared to other provinces. Sichuan province is also know for it's spicy food---and it is! You can order your food based on how spicy--one star for a little bit, and four stars for most. We ordered only one and burned our lips quite a bit! Chloe said the girls here are also known for being "spicy"---very opinionated and vocal and independent, somewhat with an 'attitude' as we would say. I guess we'll see if we have a 'spicy' girl coming home with us!